How do you see the world working?

In this section of the book we’ll address a number of topics that are about how you like to work. Are you motivated by the opportunity to get things done? Does sustainability have a place in your priorities? The ambiguities we question here are often about how you prefer to pursue success, not just about what makes you who you are.

The matter of listening is critical in terms of how you get on in your world. It wasn’t until my involvement with coaching that commenced in 2003 that I became aware of the power that comes with excellence in listening. The competition in our minds when we listen is between the desire to reply, and the desire to understand. I’m sure you know someone (maybe you!) who can’t wait for the speaker to finish before they offer their input about what is being said. Listening to reply is a powerful urge. Clearly when you are thinking about what you want to say, you’re going to miss some of what is being said. Not necessarily the words, but certainly the nuance. And it too can be considered on a continuum. You are unlikely to be all one or the other. Listening to Understand at all times is a skill that requires practice.

There are many models to describe listening. I like the following hierarchy that works well in explaining empathetic listening, the ultimate mode for listening to understand: